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Happy Birthday to the sweetest gift we’ve ever received. We love you to the moon and back Shiloh Jane! And oh what I would give to have a few more of those newborn snuggles again 💞
How can it be? Tomorrow our sweet Shiloh turns 2! So special to celebrate her today with family and friends! 💞#shilohjane #oldmacdonaldhadafarm #welovecows thanks 📸@officialbamaphoto for the pics!
Two years ago we were also waiting. It was different but still waiting, nonetheless. Our Shiloh was due on Sept. 6th but came almost 2 weeks past her due date. At the time, those 2 weeks felt like an eternity. I was so impatient and complained endlessly about how uncomfortable I was. I was seriously convinced she’d never come. Now, here we are. 2 years later and waiting in a totally different manner. This time it’s a lot harder. Way harder. It makes those 2 weeks feel so fleeting. __________________ This go around we are waiting to grow our family. Waiting for my body to heal and for the Lord’s timing to give us another child. The longing in my heart feels unbearable at times. The longing for our child in heaven and the longing for another healthy pregnancy. This must be a glimpse of our Father’s longing for us. He is so patient when we turn away and don’t act in obedience. It must be similar to how the heart of God longs for his children to know and be him. It’s a longing and an ache that’s hard to bear.  __________________ Waiting on God is a common practice in this life of faith. Abraham and Sarah waited for their promise fuliflled through Issac. David, although anointed king years in advance, had to wait for his appointing on the throne. Hannah cried out to God endlessly for God to bless her with a son. John the Baptist spent his entire life in the wilderness waiting and preparing the way for the promised Messiah. And now we wait and long for Jesus' return so that he can come and make the wrong things right. So that He had redeem the Earth and restore all that is lost. __________________ Isaiah promises that those “who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint”. These words look pretty displayed on your refrigerator magnet but they aren’t so pretty when you're having to live them out. When every time you open your phone and you see another engagement photo or baby announcement. When every grocery store aisle you turn on has a pregnant mama. It hurts. But you know what? Those words in Isaiah are a promise. A promise that can’t be shaken.
My Auburn football date for close to 10 years now. When we moved away right after we got married I used to cry during every @auburnu commercial that came on tv during the games. I love this little village on the plains so much.
The past couple of days have felt like one step forward two steps back. Actually, more like 3 steps back. Grieving our little one has been one the hard things I’ve had to do. But His presence has been so close through it all. He is nearness is comforting me. His way is perfect and he shields me as I take refuge in him. He arms me with strength and makes my way secure. He clears the ground under me so I can stand. He’s healing my broken heart. Great is my God.  _________________________________ In the midst, I’m putting one foot in front of the other and our sweet Shiloh started preschool this week. And, her little (big) personality brings me all the joy!
Today was one of those days you hope you never have to walk through. It was a day where we had to go to the hospital and say goodbye to our 2nd child. __________________________________ Luke and I found out we were pregnant back in July but over the past couple of weeks we began experiencing some complications with the pregnancy. We decided to wait a couple of weeks to see if things progressed. But unfortunately our baby didn’t make it. These weeks have felt like a bad dream that you wish you could wake up from. A painful reality you pray is false. Sadness that makes you want to crawl into bed and pull the covers over your head to sleep away the hurt. The ache of longing for what was and what could have been cuts so deep. And knowing that we’ll never have the chance to meet our little one this side of eternity pains my heart.  __________________________________ In the midst of my heartache, I have to remember that God is perfect in all His ways. He is good. He is faithful. 2 Timothy says, "if we are faithless, he remains faithful— for he cannot deny himself." There is no sorrow so strong that could overtake me and His river of grace rushes to the lowest place in my soul. His plan for our family and our future children is perfect and better than anything I could have planned in my own ways. The Lord is not slow or behind in his timing. He appoints the times and seasons for His people and it is good. _________________________________ For those you who have faced something similar. I get you. I know the pain of longing for what no longer is. Longing for your children to come into the world and feeling totally helpless and like your body failed you. But that’s not true. We have hope as an anchor for our soul.  _________________________________ So — hope, don’t let me go. I can't face this thing alone.
Luke and I have always dreamed about being able to show our children God’s big world. I always feel so small when I’m at the beach or mountains and I sort of love that. It’s a good reminder to remember our smallness and His greatness. It reminds me that he’s got this. He’s got the world. He’s got me. Oh, how I pray Shiloh sees God when she looks at the ocean and knows deep in her Spirit that his love for her is more vast than the sea and his thoughts towards her are more than every speck of sand that sticks to her chubby little feet.
What I would give to meet the architects who designed @alysbeachfl There is perfect attention to detail in every corner. The shapes and shadows cast on each building are seriously like a meticulously planned sculpture. I just love it! Makes me want to go back to school to learn architecture... we’ll sort of! 😉😅
I grew up coming to this beach house as a little girl... I was probably not much older than Shiloh. My mom has pictures of me playing on the deck with the pots and pans and getting my fair skin burned on the beach. It’s pretty surreal bringing your little one back to the same place you have so many memories at. Maybe one day, Shiloh can bring her daughter here. 💞